Chapter 5: Star People

"Star people are rare. In the beginning, stars supplied the ingredients that became us, the primordial elements. We are star stuff...And I think every once in a while someone comes along who is a little more primitive than the rest of us, a little closer to our beginnings, a little more in touch with the stuff we're made of...they do not shed tears, but light."

-Stargirl, Jerry Spinelli

Every now and again, I'll come across people who exude light. It's a kind of goodness that seems to burst from deep inside them. Sometimes it's in their eyes. Or in the way they speak. Or even how they treat the people around them. When you find a star person, hold on to them. Usually, I recognize it in their eyes. I saw it in my husband, Ryan, when I first met him. But day by day, moment by moment, I realize his light shines. It shines in every corner of my day. Whether it's the brightness of the noonday sun, the shine of each glittering star in the milky way on the darkest night, the full moon on a cold winter's night or the wispy coloured dance alongside the Northern Lights, I can feel the warmth and love of his light and goodness. I have, in actuality, found my Star Boy and I'm holding on with both hands.

Chapter 4: Twenty Seven Things I've Learned

Today is my birthday! And I'm 27! Age is such a strange thing. It's there simply as a measure of time. It doesn't measure experience, ability or even maturity. It is simply there, to write on important documents and to help us keep track of things. In my brain, I will easily think, "I'm 20..wait, 25? No, 19..." when someone asked me my age. I'm a 20-something. The details of this one don't matter to me. Except on my birthday. Remember, age keeps track. And for me, on my birthday, I boldly declare my age because...I made it. I am here. My body has sustained life for 27 years. And I am so very grateful. It's a day to celebrate being alive. And every year added onto our timeline of life is an accomplishment and a joy. 

So, here's a list. I thought about some ideas throughout the day. But for the most part, this is what comes to mind as I ponder the things I've learned this year.

1. Cut your hair. At least once. You'll find new things you like about yourself.
2. Light candles, as much as possible. Ones that smell like heaven to you. Preferably coconut. 
3. Only sign a lease to an apartment that has a garden you can plant. It works wonders for every area of life.
4. It's okay to miss something for a while. It's okay to always miss something, too. But be present. Carry on and recognize that there is more good for you to do.
5. Your thoughts don't always tell you the truth. Remember that.
6. Try the elliptical at the gym! Even if you have to ask how to turn it on. 
7. Pull over and pick the wildflowers. 
8. With time and patience, the experiences that scared you will change into the very things that shape you. 
9. Show those you love that you are thinking of them. Even when you are far away.
10. After you swim laps, take one last trip up and down the lane for a gratitude lap. With each stroke, think of something you are grateful for. 
11. Write down favorite quotes and mantras into the reminders in your phone. Schedule them for weeks or even months from now. They will come when you most need them. 
12. Make a Pooh Bear. Almond milk, a touch of honey, cinnamon, cardamom, 30 seconds in the microwave. 
13. Always carry a little change in your purse for pay parking. Actually, maybe don't. And see how a miraculous old man pulls up just on time and give you 50 cents just because. 
14. Take a vitamin every single day.
15. Buy yourself a water bottle you love to drink from.
16. Avoid comparing your life to someone else's. It will only bring heartache. Your life, your body, your personality, your goals are different. But also powerful and good. 
17. Remember your breath. It's a powerful thing. 
18. Wear lipstick. Especially to a job interview. Or when you do official things like register your car or go through the border. They take you more seriously. 
19.  Go where the locals go. 
20. Change comes and goes. Embrace change big or small and hold both hands of the ones you love through it all. 
21. If they say you can get Laser Eye Surgery, do it. Be brave. When they tell you it's time to lay on the operating chair, tell them you need a warm blanket. They will leave and you will have some extra time to get your nervous system back in check. 
22. Pray in the car on your way to work. Take three deep breaths and remind yourself how capable you are. 
23. Go to a regular yoga class. And always thank your teacher. They care about you and worry when you don't show up. 
24. Explore the place you live. And wear warm moccasins when you get home. 
25. Dance in the kitchen. 
26. Angry words said to you are very rarely actually because of you or even for you but rather a cry for help. 
26 1/2. Love whoever said those words anyway.
27. Take time to honour, appreciate and love your body. Be grateful for all the things it gives you in this wonderful life. 

Chapter 3 "Our Husband Cake"

This month, Ryan and I celebrated four years since our very first date and three years from our engagement. On our very first date, we went to a cute old home that had been converted into a cake house. It was called The Chocolate. 

As soon as we went in, I quietly noticed one of the cakes was named, "The Husband." I giggled to myself, but decided not to point out the name, since it was, after all, our very first date AND the first time we had ever met in person. Ryan pointed it out and said, "Oh! That's funny. The husband cake! Let's order that one and try it." 

Needless to say, the Husband Cake has become a bit of a legend for us. Each January, we'd go back and enjoy a piece together. We even had Husband cake at our engagement party. After our first date, I told my mother, "I want to marry a boy just like that," but I could have never actually predicted that he would, in fact, become my heaven-sent husband.

 This January, we have been quite busy getting settled into our new home. Since we moved from another country there are lots of things to get done. So, we almost forgot about our day! When we remembered, we were both dismayed. We hadn't prepared to celebrate and we were so, so many kilometers from our dear cake house and the delicious and special husband cake. I thought we could just buy any kind of fancy cake to celebrate, but Ryan insisted we have, "yellow cake with fudge chocolate icing," just like our beloved Husband cake. We searched our new town to no avail. Rather, we postponed our celebration to the weekend. I made Ryan a little Husband cake in a loaf pan and we ate it together for several days to come. 

After (and during...long story) our first date years ago, I was sick with strep throat. I was looking through our texts today from the day after our date. I wrote to Ryan, "I just finished supper-chicken broth and ice-cream for dessert. Good thing you bought me that cake yesterday to get some food in me."

His response,"That husband should take care of you for a while."

...and oh, how he has done that. 
(Forever and always). 

Creating a Haven.

 I have thought of a particular Wednesday lately. To be perfectly honest, I have struggled to put it into words, unsure of how to adequately express myself. Instead, I wrote down notes from the day until I could lace them all together. And after yesterday's historical event, I felt even more inclined to share.

The day in which I am referring is  Wednesday November 9th, 2016. It was a regular Wednesday school wise with our usual reading and writing day regimen. But it would become one of the most difficult teaching days of my life. But as I drove to the school on this particular Wednesday, my stomach was in knots. When I heard the results of the election, I immediately thought of each of my students. I took several big yoga breaths in the parking lot, in 2-4-3 out 2-3-4...put on my brave face and remembered that I was there that day for one overarching purpose. It was the same purpose as everyday. I was there to be the advocate of my students. 

I was teaching Kindergarten that day in the United States. My classroom appeared like so many across America. I had several immigrant and minority groups represented, academic levels, various disabiltiies  and students from mixed families. We had spent the last months trying to strengthen literacy skills in the English language. "They're in kindergarten. No one is even going to mention last night's news," I told myself.

The bell rang, I opened my classroom door and was greeted by my smiling little ones, just like a regular day. I smiled back, feeling relived to be with such a positive bunch on a day that seemed so surreal. A few minutes later, a parent came to the door. A parent whose eyes were swollen and whose tears still ran down her cheeks. Her little girl stood beside tears rolling down her eyes, too. 

"Sorry, Mrs. Beaumont, it's been a very bad night for us. Sorry we are late." 

"Oh, not a problem. I understand."

"My mommy has been crying all night AND I lost my shoe," her daughter announced as she stomped into the classroom. 

The day rolled on business as usual. But things seemed different.  Aside from a little girl sporadically exclaiming during carpet time that "Donald Duck" is the new president, more serious questions were asked completely out of the blue, 

"But, Mrs. Beaumont, it's okay if my skin is darker than his? Right?"

And the lunchroom seemed to be bursting with emotion from young and older grade levels alike. I ate with my students each day and I did on that Wednesday, too. There was a flurry of election driven comments, sporadically directed to me, or overheard, 

"She's crying because she's scared they are actually going to build the wall now."

"I saw my older sister crying in the bathroom."

"She said I'm going back to Mexico." 

"We are so worried for our friends." 

"His family packed up their house to leave."

"I think my teacher voted for Trump. I guess she doesn't want me here."

And most heart-wrenching kindergartener question, considering it was the day after the election,

"Is it true the bad guy is really winning?" 

You see, it has become the trend to assume those who had concerned feeling about the election results were in fact, "immature" or even "sore losers" if any sense of worry was expressed.  But I saw something different. The "result" was so much more than who won the election. The result was also a slew of very personal thoughts and feelings. These children were questioning and feeling actual worry and fear. And that fear was driven by the adult chatter in the election. The chatter was too loud, too harsh and too worrisome to these little ones.  These "little ones" are not "sore losers" after all, but little ones who did not have a say on a ballot. But had become victims of news coverage, overheard debates and even hate. 

It has made me cringe in the past several weeks to hear comments such as, "Move on," "Be positive," "What's done is done," "We already have our rights and freedoms, there's nothing to worry about," when they are actual children and families still living in fear because they may not have the same freedoms as others in their midst. 

I am inheritantly a peacemaker. It's part of my being and always has been. But, I could not see how simply forgetting the impact and moving on would bring peace to my students. Ignoring student feelings or wishing they would go away is not being "neutral" as a teacher. It's being completely non-complacent. In hindsight, to declare that the media coverage was false, irrelevant and scrutinizing completely ignores the minority groups who were left feeling traumatized. In that case, yes, what's done is done. I desperately wanted my students to believe that they are more than what they've been hearing. They are important and valued because they are all different.  And the fact that they were actually hearing voices telling them the opposite, actually made me angry.

I left the lunchroom and when back to my class, looking for a quiet refuge to collect my thoughts. And as I sought that refuge, I had an epiphany. And I had work to do. I realized that I could not control what they had heard. I could not control the worry, fear and anxiety they were feeling outside my classroom and had been building up in their society for years. But I could do everything in my power to create an environment that was safe in my classroom. I was still their advocate. So, When they entered my class, I wanted them to enter a haven. 

And all of a sudden, those little things that I did out of habit became so meaningful. Bending down to greet the students every morning at the door, complimenting kindness and compassion, actively celebrating small successes, the warm twinking strands of Christmas lights hanging across the wall, the sparkling larger-than-life paper flowers, the little mittens I brought waiting for them by the door, the specific snacks they loved in the cupboard. Each were doing their own little part to create a haven.

Wednesday November 9th, 2016 was a turning point for me as a teacher and actual as an advocate. I quickly shifted my day plan to include how they can "make someone's day," never stop believing in their own abilities and that they have a voice. I finally began to recognize and fully grasp the deep responsibility a teacher holds everyday, but especially on days, weeks, years that are difficult for a young person to understand and to make sense of. So, even though at the end of the school day, I felt like curling up in my bed, I stayed into the evening continuing to prep for that haven I sought. 

Towards the end of the session, we were back on the carpet, studying the elements of our children's book that day. A very small little boy, again completely unprompted, had something to say. He looked up at me with his big brown eyes and spoke in a soft voice and broken English.

He said, "Mrs. Beaumont, I'm going to be president one day." 

Chapter 2 "Step Aside, Elvis Stojko."

Last Monday evening, Husband and I went to the Skating Oval for our Family Night. The oval was built for and is used for competitive speed skating. It's outside, surrounded by evergreens, but the ice was smooth as can be. They tend to it each morning for the speed skating. There's even a cute little (heated) cabin to put on your skates and warm up in between laps. And it make it even more darling, the fee is placed in a little box and regulated by...honesty. Usually, when I've skated outside, I get a bit nervous skating fast because the ice is unpredictable. But this ice was flawless. 

Since I could walk, I was skating. My sisters and I all started skating very young. I joined the Keewatin Figure Skating Club when I was only 3 years old. We grew up in Kenora, Ontario where everyone seemed to know how to skate. I remember when I went to University it was the first time I had ever seen a "skate rental" place at the rink. Everyone has skates or has access to skates where I am from. And I've always loved the ice. Whenever I put on my skates and even just skate laps, I feel a sense of home. I love the strong, clear sound my blades make against the ice. It has always caused me to feel powerful and free.

I remember when we were dating, Ryan mentioned he could skate but couldn't really stop. He explained he hadn't played hockey and really hadn't skated much growing up at all. Being from Kenora, I was very surprised and thought it was very strange. I really thought being Canadian and skating went hand in hand.

 Usually, when someone has not had much exposure to skating, the fear of falling seems to paralyze them. Especially, when someone tries skating as an adult. But that is not Ryan. He is fearless on the ice. At Christmastime, we went to an outdoor rink on Lake of the Woods. Ryan announced afterwards that it was, "one of the best things he has ever done...in his life!"  Needless to say, I've recognized that he has some real skating passion inside his lower mainland, British Columbia, heart. And I absolutely love it. 

Prior to going skating, we decided it was time to invest in some skates for Ryan. We found a sale at Canadian Tire. Ryan tried on his skates, we got them sharpened, I announced to the employee that they were his first skates (it's very momentous!) and we were off. 

He quickly laced up his skates and zoomed around and around the oval. Cross-overs (forward and backwards), spirals, quick stops, fancy footwork, power skating...you name it, he was practicing it. And more than that, he is very, very talented. He picks up skills so quickly. I admire the persistence he has on the ice. Even though he is trying something that he has not really done in the past, he has found confidence in it. It's so neat to be reminded that it's never too late to try something new-and really love it, too! It was -17 and he didn't care one bit. He kept suggesting that we go around just one more time...or maybe two or three more times. And I didn't mind either; I love seeing the magic he's found on the ice.

 "Jos, can we come here again sometime?"

"Of course."

"Oh, good!"

Chapter 1 "Northern Kindness"

After packing our tiny car with our most our most beautiful, special and necessary things, we made the journey North. Despite the beautiful Narnia-like snowy landscapes, the roads were completely clear as we veered around mountains, past rivers and lakes. The sense of adventure was most definitely there. We were moving to a place neither of us have been for the next year. A place where we knew no one but each other. It was clearly going to be our place as we navigated and fit into our new community. 

Upon arriving here, we found our quaint little apartment with all the needful furnishings. And! The light fixtures look like acorns and the table has teacup decor. So, we were thrilled.

One thing we quickly learned is that, "It doesn't matter what you are trying to do, the people in Prince George will help you," (that's a direct quote from my first friend, the teller at Walmart, as she bagged many, many plastic hangers). We quickly noticed. Sure, there a people who are having a not-so-great day. But that being said, I have not heard even one car lay on their horn since we've been here (there's 70,000 people here, so lots of cars on the road), someone will always let you in when you're trying to change lanes,no one is in a rush, people smile at strangers in the grocery store, people always welcome us to their community and words like "I apologize," "please," "thank you," and "excuse me" are commonplace (Ryan says everyone even thanks the public bus driver, whether they leave through the front door or not). Remember we didn't know anyone. These are all strangers.

When we arrived to our new apartment, we were greeted by the most kind, motherly landlord that perhaps has ever existed. She showed us our place and motioned to the bedroom. She had washed the bedding and put together two single beds for us to sleep on until we found our own mattress. 

 We found a mattress on Kijiji a couple days later (you know the buy/sell website). We made our way to the lady's home, Caitlin, to lay on her mattress and we quickly found out she lived very much in the woods. And it had snowed and our little frosted glass ford focus kept getting stuck. Husband was fearless and I was worried we'd end up as two little bears buried in the ditch until Spring. When we told Caitlin we couldn't get out there right now, she offered to come pick us up! Or we could come tomorrow. 

The roads were plowed the next day and we took a nice Sunday drive out to her house. We veered through gorgeous terrain of crisp white snow, pine trees and poplar trees. When we arrived at her house, we were greeted by many of her long-time friends. She let us in, we layed on the mattress and we made some small talk about her beautifully beaded, beaver fur mukluks in the corner of the room. The house was heated with wood from her property and there were exquisite dream catchers sprinkled throughout. 

We mentioned we didn't really know anyone in town yet and we didn't have a truck. She mentioned she might have a friend that could help, but honestly, I didn't think anything would come of it. I mean we "met" her on the internet. I began brainstorming ornate plans to get the mattress from her house to ours, a good 20 minute drive away. We left, thinking we'd never see the perfect white bed again. 

"Oh, hello, again, Ryan," she greeted as we drove home, "I contacted my friend and he is not able to fit the mattress in the bed of his truck. So, my friend called one of his friends and they can help you move it right now! And then maybe you could stay a while for our bonfire." 

We ended up spending much of our afternoon at her wilderness bungalow, roasting hot dogs, looking at her exquisite new children's book, learning how to make homemade soap, chatting with a sweet medicine woman who spends her days teaching kindergarteners Cree and casually becoming friends with everyone there. Sometimes, her friends would say, "So, how do you know Caitlin?" and they didn't think it was at all strange that we were actually the ones buying her mattress from her post online. Obviously, instant friends are a common occurrence in these parts. 

As we left, she gave us a heart-shaped coconut oil bar of homemade soap. She even said she would call us next time she had a bonfire. The very generous friend of a friend from the Ukraine and Ryan loaded the new mattress, drove it to our house and delivered it through our tiny doorway into our basement. It was clear that everyone had made time to help us just because we needed a little help. 

It was beautiful. I am embarrassed to say that I almost forgot what it's like to live in Northern Canada. Some would say it's the cold that knits people together in communities like these. I like to believe it's the common feeling that at the end of the day, we are all in this together. And kindness makes the journey all the more...kind.